A Christmas Flare

A Christmas Flare

Twas the night before Christmas 
And all through the house
A creature was stirring 
A PANDA, not a mouse 

The melatonin's not working
On this, of all nights
I've tried Calpol & Brufen
but still sleep she fights 

When she finally nods off 
I drop down and I cry
So much of the magic 
Has passed my girl by 

No winter wonderland
No Christmas fayre
No parties, No pantos
All lost to a flare 

Amoxi, Nystatin 
Fluconz and Azith
In these little bottles
A shred of hope lives 

But the cause goes much deeper 
In our little ones
Snps, autonomic 
Histamines and neurons 

So I wrote to santa
And asked for a gift
For a paed and a neuro
Who won't cause a rift! 

"It's so controversial"
"It's really quite rare"
How much more of this bullshilt
Can we really bare? 

The doctors won't listen
No treatment for us 
But if this was their child
Then they'd soon make a fuss 

Ocd tics and miso
All wrapped up in fear
We hold on to the hope
She'll be better next year 

But tomorrow is Christmas 
And I'm sure we'll be fine
As long as my glass 
Stays full up with wine 

The in-laws are coming
So I must be polite
One "She'll grow out of it" comment 
And there'll be a fight!

I'll paint on my smile
Count to ten when they say
"It's all bad behaviour"
"You made her this way" 

The big Christmas Dinner 
That my girl won't dare touch
Just Quavers and Pommbears
Will be her Christmas lunch

I'll escape to the garage
With CAMHs dartboard and wine 
And dream of a Christmas 
Where things are just fine 

So over this Christmas 
When you need a friend near
Just try to remember 
You have 3000 right here

To you all, Merry Christmas 
Let's push on with our fight 
To raise pp awareness 
And yes ....CAMHs are shite!

Louise Ward

Louise Ward is fighting for treatment for her young child who has finally been diagnosed after a 2.5 year struggle. As of December 2020, PANDAS/PANS is not treated--at all, or well, in many countries.