I want to wear blue wings and soar

above the screaming

tantrums of today

I will take you with me

(hold you)

as we gaze down

upon whispery earth

at tiny beings

scuffling about

checking their clocks

and bank accounts


the life of a bird

who does not love so much

that it hurts






Once upon a time, we were a regular family with two kids, a dog, jobs, activities--you know the routine. Then, everything changed overnight. We entered a world not unlike Alice's Wonderland where everything we'd learned was turned topsy-turvy. This is a world that encompasses medical, financial and social challenges, a world that tests us daily, a world that outsiders, sometimes family, often friends, schools, acquaintances, and the medical community do not yet comprehend.

This became a world of Lyme Disease and PANDAS/PANS. PANS, or Pediatric Acute-Onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome, is an encephalitic-type autoimmune disease that can be induced by different illnesses: strep throat (PANDAS,) mycoplasma, pneumonia, flu and/or Lyme Disease.  In short, rogue cells that should be fighting the disease itself break through the blood brain barrier of the child (or adult) and attack the brain. When the basal ganglia is under siege, a person can experience tics, OCD, rage, depression, separation anxiety, and more.

Teaching has provided me with my "happy place." Bicycling gives me joy and provides so many metaphors for life: the uphills battles, coasting downhill, a occaional flat tire, gripping the handlebars, working through pain, flying through freedom. I think best when I'm on my bicycle. Thus, a few years ago, I began jotting down Bicycling Chronicles, which morphed into Bicycling Chronic-Tales. And this gave me the idea for this site. PANSlife. 

Hold onto hope. And know that you are not alone.


Editor, PANS Life 

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