I want to wear blue wings and soar

above the screaming

tantrums of today

I will take you with me

(hold you)

as we gaze down

upon whispery earth

at tiny beings

scuffling about

checking their clocks

and bank accounts

Ah,

the life of a bird

who does not love so much

that it hurts

 

 --LWK

 

 

 

Blog Index
This area does not yet contain any content.

 

I wish I was fine

It’s like my brain

is doing a freakin’ crime....

 

From a rap by a child, age 11

Sunday
Nov042018

Mold Mania

Ahhhh...the mold wars just got more personal. Recently, I was diagnosed with CIRS (chronic inflammatory response syndrome) as a result of mold. That's a mouthful. I've been reading/skimming on and off about mold for years as it's a topic that comes up when dealing with Lyme. I have to admit--I'm not 100% a believer. I know this will cause a lot of grief among the "mold-knowledgeable" community but here are my issues.

1. There is no freakin' way I can afford to leave my house OR to remediate. My house is close to 100 years old and our money has gone to medical bills (one deep, dark hole that will never be refilled.)

2. I have read too many times about people leaving behind ALL of their belongings as they claim that everything that is porous can be affected by mold. I won't do this. 

3. Heck, I don't even want to stop eating peanut butter. I've given up dairy, gluten, etc., etc. and I'm tired of making my life so different. 

4. I am NOT going to strip off my clothes and shower every time I go to someone else's house or my place of work or a store and then return home, so as to prevent mold from entering my safe space.

5. I am not moving to a dry area. Even the most arid of areas are said to have some mold. I prefer not to contend with scorpions and snakes. No thanks, but ticks are deadly enough. 

6. How much of this is real? Seriously, I know many people question Lyme and I roll my eyes at those people, much as some of you are rolling your eyes at me now. But it's a monstrous suspension of disbelief for me to believe that yet one more thing is making me sick and/or preventing me from being well.

7. Even testing the house is pricey. And everything involved with mold is EXTREME. Which makes me doubt. I don't do extreme. Usually.

I have recovered from Lyme and co-infections. My blood tests are much improved. I can live with residing symptoms, but it's hard to deal with the everlasting fatigue which comes and goes.

My medical practitioner thinks that dealing with mold is the key to helping me fight off past infections (like EBV.) But on the mold/symptom questionnaire, I interestingly didn't show enough symptoms. On a visual online test, I came out at 80%. That's pretty good, right? So are we merely looking for something to blame my fatigue upon, especially as I live in an old house with a basement that leaks? Would it be safe to say that EVERYONE has CIRS?

I know that some of you are totally disgusted with this and are probably shouting at me to get out of my house. But to where? Who says the next house doesn't have mold? My friend tested her house and it was FINE! But when she dug up a room, she found mold anyway. 

So my question is--how do I live with the mold that is going to be in my life? How do I change MYSELF so I can tolerate it? I'm supposed to be on Welchol and a coconut charcoal (have started slowly as I just caught a virus.) There are many of us--families, parents, kids--who no longer have the funds to fungus-free our homes, who cannot move, who cannot replace every piece of furniture and clothing. In the mold support groups (from which I'll probably be tossed), it's black and white--discard everything, leave. 

Maybe I'm not sick enough to do this. Mabye I have mold at work, in which case I wont be able to leave it anyway. Maybe I just wanna eat the Reeses peanut butter cup from Halloween.

In all seriousness, I need a different approach to mold. Any suggestions? 

PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>
« The Rain is Calming | Main | Reclaim Life »